Robert McKee, author of Story, a scriptwriting and storytelling guide, offers a teardown mechanism for understanding story structure in Chapter 11, "Scene Analysis." This post uses the techniques and terminology he presents to deconstruct the Star Trek Original Series episode, Journey to Babel. Written by D.C. Fontana, it tells the story of a familial breach between Spock and his father, Vulcan Ambassador Sarek. On mission, the Enterprise is host to a group of diplomats who board to travel to a diplomatic conference. During transit, a spy intervenes and threatens the mission, while Amanda, Spock's mother and Sarek's wife, Kirk, and others attempt to resolve the family breach between father and son.
Intertwined are two additional plot threads, the B Plot regarding a mystery signal, mystery ship, and mystery spy. And a C Plot regarding the conference attendees and their varying interests at the diplomatic conference. A plot breakdown is available at Memory Alpha.
The McKee approach avoids plot - or event - analysis and instead focuses on a beat based text / subtext analysis of character interactions. The purpose of this is to tease out subtext implied by dialog and thereby determine underlying character motivation. Further, it breaks down per-scene opening and closing values, or emotional states imparted on the audience implied by story events. Next, the goal is to find plot thread structure embedded within scenes, sequences, acts, and the entire story - that is, interleaving of plot structure as A, B, and C plots intertwine. The last task is to determining a controlling idea - or, theme.
This breakdown runs scene by scene. Starting with the PROLOG teaser, then moving to ACT 1 (comprising seven scenes), ACT 2 (comprising six scenes), ACT 3 (comprising seven scenes) and ACT 4 (comprising two scenes). My hope with this work was to develop an analysis from interation minutia through to the big picture across an entire story.
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In the PROLOG, the story opens the A PLOT, with McCoy in Kirk's quarters expressing discomfort to Kirk at being forced to wear formal regalia for a diplomatic function. But soon the focus transitions from McCoy and Kirk to Spock and the Vulcan diplomat Sarek. Immediately, it becomes clear that Spock and Sarek know one another and that Sarek dislikes Spock. Kirk offers Spock to Sarek as tour guide for the Enterprise. But Sarek openly refuses to recognize him and requests an alternate guide. It becomes apparent that Spock is persona non grata to the man.
When Kirk offers Spock a chance to transport down to Vulcan for a short visit with his parents a SURPRISE REVEAL occurs when Spock announces that Sarek is his wife are father and mother. Thus FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT becomes the primary story issue to resolve in the A PLOT. B and C PLOTs are subservient to A PLOT, entering and exiting the story in a FILO (First In Last Out) order.
ACT 1 opens in Scene 1 with a continuation of the A PLOT, as Kirk gives Sarek and Amanda a tour. Until, just as Scene 1 ends, the B PLOT enters with a video call from Uhura announcing the detection of a MYSTERY SIGNAL.
Moving to Scene 2, the A PLOT continues then transitions to open a C PLOT about a diplomatic conflict over the incorporation of a planet into the Federation. Sarek and Tellorite Ambassador Gav have a verbal confrontation with Sarek refusing to answer Gav's questions. With all three plot threads now introduced, there's a turnaround back to A PLOT and then Scene 2 finishes off with B PLOT as Chekov contacts Kirk over the ship intercom about a MYSTERY SHIP tailing the Enterprise.
This is the only scene in Act 1 with multiple plot threads, and it's worth noting that with all players from each plot are present in the reception room, making intercutting shots from distant sets where differing plot events might take place unnecessary. Transitioning across plots is handled by Kirk leading Sarek off from one group, McCoy, Spock and Amanda in A PLOT, to another group, Gav and the Andorian diplomat for C PLOT within the same room. Thus creating what McKee terms French Scenes (Story, Pg. 292), or a breakdown of the scene into separate subscenes based on changing location and groups of characters within the same set location. Kirk repeats this at the end of Scene 2 when he is called to a wall intercom by Chekhov, separating himself from both groups to transition the subscene to B PLOT by nature of communication with a character off set via a wall intercom.
Scenes 3 through 7 interleave PLOT threads from one scene to the next.
Analyzing these in context to ACT 1, a curious structure becomes apparent. One finds three examples of Spock being demeaned across scenes either by Sarek ignoring his existence, or with McCoy and mother Amanda across the A PLOT. Additionally, in the B PLOT there are three examples of a MYSTERY SIGNAL leading to a MYSTERY SHIP tailing the enterprise, creating an EXTERNAL THREAT. And finally, there are three examples of Sarek confronting a difficult diplomatic conflict with Gav, the Tellorite diplomat. ACT 1 ends with a cliffhanger as Andorian Ambassador Gav is found dead.
What's curious about this is that it perfectly fits Christopher Booker's RULE OF THREE thesis, found in Seven Basic Plots (See pg. 229). Thus, we have three examples of problem escalations across each of the three A, B, and C plots leading to a major TURNAROUND and CLIFFHANGER at the end of ACT 1. As Booker argues, three leads to four, or three examples of a first state leads to a transformation in the fourth example to a second changed state.
By the start of ACT 2, the C PLOT continues for two additional scenes. There, an investigation of Gav's murder leads to Sarek as PRIME SUSPECT. But, Sarek collapses during questioning, showing him to be gravely ill with HEART TROUBLE. This can be interpreted at two levels. First, in the text, as a reason why the character cannot be viable murder suspect - he is too ill. But, secondly, at a subtext level, it can also be interpreted metaphorically. Spock's estranged father has a BROKEN HEART. Thus, resolving this FAMILY BREACH must also resolve his HEART TROUBLE.
B PLOT then intervenes in Scene 3, as an EXTERNAL THREAT from MYSTERY SHIP ramps up suspense. Finally, Spock and McCoy determine just how severe Sarek's LIFE THREATENING CONDITION is across Scenes 4 and 5, with both agreeing to Amanda's dismay that PATERNAL DEATH will be the likely outcome. Yet, through hard INVESTIGATIVE WORK, Spock offers a TECHNICAL ALTERNATIVE to McCoy that might SAVE PATERNAL LIFE (and thus RESOLVE FAMILIAL RIFT. But it's not a safe treatment, so McCoy is reticent because of a resulting RISK TO SUBHERO. Unfortunately, before Spock and McCoy can act to SAVE SAREK, B PLOT intervenes again, as an assailant knifes and nearly kills Captain Kirk (FATHER OF THE ENTERPRISE).
With Kirk NEAR DEATH from a knife wound, ACT 3, Scene 1, opens with Spock refusing to relinquish command to SUBORDINATE OFFICER because of OBLIGATION OF DUTY to the Enterprise. Here we see that B PLOT and C PLOT intertwine, circumstances of both forcing related action. By Scene 2, the story transitions to B PLOT as Spock leaves to interrogate the Kirk's assailant, an Andorian aide, held in the Enterprise brig. The interrogation leads nowhere. With Sarek's health deteriorating, and Spock busy running the ship, in Scene 3, his mother Amanda, attempts to GUILT TRIP Spock into giving up command to save Sarek by threatening a NEW FAMILIAL BREACH - if Spock does not try to save his father, he'll lose his mother. Yet Spock is unmoved.
Here, an inner conflict develops for Spock. On the one hand, he has a FAMILIAL DUTY to save his father. On the other, as second officer aboard ship where the captain and FATHER OF SHIP has been INCAPACITATED, he must take command of the Enterprise and see the mission and all occupants through to safety. This can be see as a COMPETING FAMILY DILEMMA. If Sarek is Spock's father by lineage and Kirk represents FATHER OF THE ENTERPRISE, then Spock faces a SOPHIE'S CHOICE where no matter what course of action he takes he must FAIL TO UPHOLD DUTY to one or the other of his competing families
It's only in Scene 4, when Kirk awakes after treatment, that a resolution to Spock's dilemma is introduced. Kirk, in GREAT PAIN, takes command showing GREAT HEROISM, freeing Spock from POTENTIAL PATRICIDE. With Kirk again at the helm, the MYSTERY SIGNAL transmits again and is discovered to come from the prisoner and Kirk's assailant. Kirk sends GUARDS to investigate, who find a HIDDEN TRANSCEIVER. Then, the MYSTERY SHIP begins SUICIDE RUNS, attacking the Enterprise. Thus, antagonists from B PLOT surface to force a FINAL CONFRONTATION across Scenes 6 and 7 of ACT 3, which bleeds into Scene 1 of ACT 4.
Across this FINAL CONFRONTATION, the RULE OF THREE applies again. For each attack run, the scenes intercut from Kirk on the bridge to McCoy in sick bay as he performs surgery on Sarek using Spock's LIFE SAVING BLOOD. Each attack increases suspense by ESCALATING RISK, first a demonstration, then loss of ship power, and finally Sarek's HEART STOPS, leading to almost CERTAIN DEATH. But by QUICK THINKING, McCoy uses OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY to restart Sarek's heart. This is intercut with just as Kirk, using a CRAFTY BLUFF, to pretend that the Enterprise is seriously damaged. Kirk baits the MYSTERY SHIP FOE into coming in for a slow FINAL KILL. But, exposed to the Enterprise's WEAPONS, Kirk damages the ENEMY FOE just as McCoy SAVES A LIFE. And thus both B PLOT and C PLOT are resolved with a THRILLING SIMULTANEOUS CLIMAX.
This leaves Act 4 Scene 2 to handle wrapping up the A PLOT of a FAMILY RIFT between Spock and Sarek. Kirk, still MORTALLY WOUNDED, returns to sick bay to find out if Spock and Sarek have survived. McCoy coyly refuses to answer, building up tension. Then, all tension is released as Amanda leads Kirk into the recovery room where Spock and Sarek lie in bed awake and alert.
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As is typical of many of 1960s era Trek epidoes, in denouement the tone shifts from concern to humor. Amanda attempts to use EMOTIONAL HEALING to force a resolution between Spock and Sarek. But banter between Spock and Sarek over an ILLOGICAL WIFE / MOTHER leads to an INAPPROPRIATE WIFE JOKE by Spock directed at Sarek, with both playing STRAIGHT MEN. Yet, the joke is on the supposedly logical Vulcans, for they clearly do not understand the subtext manipulation Amanda has undertaken to resolve a FATHER / SON FAMILIAL RIFT. Amanda, realizing the conflict has ended, offers LOVE to Sarek, thus reaffirming their MOTHER-FATHER-SON relationship.
A PLOT crisis resolved, Kirk collapses from SEVERE INJURY and is helped to bed. Whereupon McCoy TEMPORARILY USURPS AUTHORITY and orders both Kirk and Spock lie in bed for NEEDED RECOVERY.
In a curious backhanded almost 'breaking the 4th wall' wink to the audience, McCoy gloats at 'having the last word', whereupon ACT 4 ends and CREDITS ROLL. This also references the beginning of PROLOG, where McCoy opened the story complaining about the stuffiness of having to wear formal regalia. By the end, McCoy is at home in his sick bay, wearing standard dress, and entirely in control.
Below is a somewhat poorly done chart, drawn by hand, depicting story timeline, split by act numbers, scene numbers, plot threads, and per scene emotional charge. It's probably a little inaccurate.
CONTROLLING IDEA: Reclaiming a father-son relationship is more important than mere duty to a cause or institution.
Intertwined are two additional plot threads, the B Plot regarding a mystery signal, mystery ship, and mystery spy. And a C Plot regarding the conference attendees and their varying interests at the diplomatic conference. A plot breakdown is available at Memory Alpha.
The McKee approach avoids plot - or event - analysis and instead focuses on a beat based text / subtext analysis of character interactions. The purpose of this is to tease out subtext implied by dialog and thereby determine underlying character motivation. Further, it breaks down per-scene opening and closing values, or emotional states imparted on the audience implied by story events. Next, the goal is to find plot thread structure embedded within scenes, sequences, acts, and the entire story - that is, interleaving of plot structure as A, B, and C plots intertwine. The last task is to determining a controlling idea - or, theme.
This breakdown runs scene by scene. Starting with the PROLOG teaser, then moving to ACT 1 (comprising seven scenes), ACT 2 (comprising six scenes), ACT 3 (comprising seven scenes) and ACT 4 (comprising two scenes). My hope with this work was to develop an analysis from interation minutia through to the big picture across an entire story.
---
In the PROLOG, the story opens the A PLOT, with McCoy in Kirk's quarters expressing discomfort to Kirk at being forced to wear formal regalia for a diplomatic function. But soon the focus transitions from McCoy and Kirk to Spock and the Vulcan diplomat Sarek. Immediately, it becomes clear that Spock and Sarek know one another and that Sarek dislikes Spock. Kirk offers Spock to Sarek as tour guide for the Enterprise. But Sarek openly refuses to recognize him and requests an alternate guide. It becomes apparent that Spock is persona non grata to the man.
When Kirk offers Spock a chance to transport down to Vulcan for a short visit with his parents a SURPRISE REVEAL occurs when Spock announces that Sarek is his wife are father and mother. Thus FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT becomes the primary story issue to resolve in the A PLOT. B and C PLOTs are subservient to A PLOT, entering and exiting the story in a FILO (First In Last Out) order.
ACT 1 opens in Scene 1 with a continuation of the A PLOT, as Kirk gives Sarek and Amanda a tour. Until, just as Scene 1 ends, the B PLOT enters with a video call from Uhura announcing the detection of a MYSTERY SIGNAL.
Moving to Scene 2, the A PLOT continues then transitions to open a C PLOT about a diplomatic conflict over the incorporation of a planet into the Federation. Sarek and Tellorite Ambassador Gav have a verbal confrontation with Sarek refusing to answer Gav's questions. With all three plot threads now introduced, there's a turnaround back to A PLOT and then Scene 2 finishes off with B PLOT as Chekov contacts Kirk over the ship intercom about a MYSTERY SHIP tailing the Enterprise.
This is the only scene in Act 1 with multiple plot threads, and it's worth noting that with all players from each plot are present in the reception room, making intercutting shots from distant sets where differing plot events might take place unnecessary. Transitioning across plots is handled by Kirk leading Sarek off from one group, McCoy, Spock and Amanda in A PLOT, to another group, Gav and the Andorian diplomat for C PLOT within the same room. Thus creating what McKee terms French Scenes (Story, Pg. 292), or a breakdown of the scene into separate subscenes based on changing location and groups of characters within the same set location. Kirk repeats this at the end of Scene 2 when he is called to a wall intercom by Chekhov, separating himself from both groups to transition the subscene to B PLOT by nature of communication with a character off set via a wall intercom.
Scenes 3 through 7 interleave PLOT threads from one scene to the next.
Analyzing these in context to ACT 1, a curious structure becomes apparent. One finds three examples of Spock being demeaned across scenes either by Sarek ignoring his existence, or with McCoy and mother Amanda across the A PLOT. Additionally, in the B PLOT there are three examples of a MYSTERY SIGNAL leading to a MYSTERY SHIP tailing the enterprise, creating an EXTERNAL THREAT. And finally, there are three examples of Sarek confronting a difficult diplomatic conflict with Gav, the Tellorite diplomat. ACT 1 ends with a cliffhanger as Andorian Ambassador Gav is found dead.
What's curious about this is that it perfectly fits Christopher Booker's RULE OF THREE thesis, found in Seven Basic Plots (See pg. 229). Thus, we have three examples of problem escalations across each of the three A, B, and C plots leading to a major TURNAROUND and CLIFFHANGER at the end of ACT 1. As Booker argues, three leads to four, or three examples of a first state leads to a transformation in the fourth example to a second changed state.
By the start of ACT 2, the C PLOT continues for two additional scenes. There, an investigation of Gav's murder leads to Sarek as PRIME SUSPECT. But, Sarek collapses during questioning, showing him to be gravely ill with HEART TROUBLE. This can be interpreted at two levels. First, in the text, as a reason why the character cannot be viable murder suspect - he is too ill. But, secondly, at a subtext level, it can also be interpreted metaphorically. Spock's estranged father has a BROKEN HEART. Thus, resolving this FAMILY BREACH must also resolve his HEART TROUBLE.
B PLOT then intervenes in Scene 3, as an EXTERNAL THREAT from MYSTERY SHIP ramps up suspense. Finally, Spock and McCoy determine just how severe Sarek's LIFE THREATENING CONDITION is across Scenes 4 and 5, with both agreeing to Amanda's dismay that PATERNAL DEATH will be the likely outcome. Yet, through hard INVESTIGATIVE WORK, Spock offers a TECHNICAL ALTERNATIVE to McCoy that might SAVE PATERNAL LIFE (and thus RESOLVE FAMILIAL RIFT. But it's not a safe treatment, so McCoy is reticent because of a resulting RISK TO SUBHERO. Unfortunately, before Spock and McCoy can act to SAVE SAREK, B PLOT intervenes again, as an assailant knifes and nearly kills Captain Kirk (FATHER OF THE ENTERPRISE).
With Kirk NEAR DEATH from a knife wound, ACT 3, Scene 1, opens with Spock refusing to relinquish command to SUBORDINATE OFFICER because of OBLIGATION OF DUTY to the Enterprise. Here we see that B PLOT and C PLOT intertwine, circumstances of both forcing related action. By Scene 2, the story transitions to B PLOT as Spock leaves to interrogate the Kirk's assailant, an Andorian aide, held in the Enterprise brig. The interrogation leads nowhere. With Sarek's health deteriorating, and Spock busy running the ship, in Scene 3, his mother Amanda, attempts to GUILT TRIP Spock into giving up command to save Sarek by threatening a NEW FAMILIAL BREACH - if Spock does not try to save his father, he'll lose his mother. Yet Spock is unmoved.
Here, an inner conflict develops for Spock. On the one hand, he has a FAMILIAL DUTY to save his father. On the other, as second officer aboard ship where the captain and FATHER OF SHIP has been INCAPACITATED, he must take command of the Enterprise and see the mission and all occupants through to safety. This can be see as a COMPETING FAMILY DILEMMA. If Sarek is Spock's father by lineage and Kirk represents FATHER OF THE ENTERPRISE, then Spock faces a SOPHIE'S CHOICE where no matter what course of action he takes he must FAIL TO UPHOLD DUTY to one or the other of his competing families
It's only in Scene 4, when Kirk awakes after treatment, that a resolution to Spock's dilemma is introduced. Kirk, in GREAT PAIN, takes command showing GREAT HEROISM, freeing Spock from POTENTIAL PATRICIDE. With Kirk again at the helm, the MYSTERY SIGNAL transmits again and is discovered to come from the prisoner and Kirk's assailant. Kirk sends GUARDS to investigate, who find a HIDDEN TRANSCEIVER. Then, the MYSTERY SHIP begins SUICIDE RUNS, attacking the Enterprise. Thus, antagonists from B PLOT surface to force a FINAL CONFRONTATION across Scenes 6 and 7 of ACT 3, which bleeds into Scene 1 of ACT 4.
Across this FINAL CONFRONTATION, the RULE OF THREE applies again. For each attack run, the scenes intercut from Kirk on the bridge to McCoy in sick bay as he performs surgery on Sarek using Spock's LIFE SAVING BLOOD. Each attack increases suspense by ESCALATING RISK, first a demonstration, then loss of ship power, and finally Sarek's HEART STOPS, leading to almost CERTAIN DEATH. But by QUICK THINKING, McCoy uses OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY to restart Sarek's heart. This is intercut with just as Kirk, using a CRAFTY BLUFF, to pretend that the Enterprise is seriously damaged. Kirk baits the MYSTERY SHIP FOE into coming in for a slow FINAL KILL. But, exposed to the Enterprise's WEAPONS, Kirk damages the ENEMY FOE just as McCoy SAVES A LIFE. And thus both B PLOT and C PLOT are resolved with a THRILLING SIMULTANEOUS CLIMAX.
This leaves Act 4 Scene 2 to handle wrapping up the A PLOT of a FAMILY RIFT between Spock and Sarek. Kirk, still MORTALLY WOUNDED, returns to sick bay to find out if Spock and Sarek have survived. McCoy coyly refuses to answer, building up tension. Then, all tension is released as Amanda leads Kirk into the recovery room where Spock and Sarek lie in bed awake and alert.
---
As is typical of many of 1960s era Trek epidoes, in denouement the tone shifts from concern to humor. Amanda attempts to use EMOTIONAL HEALING to force a resolution between Spock and Sarek. But banter between Spock and Sarek over an ILLOGICAL WIFE / MOTHER leads to an INAPPROPRIATE WIFE JOKE by Spock directed at Sarek, with both playing STRAIGHT MEN. Yet, the joke is on the supposedly logical Vulcans, for they clearly do not understand the subtext manipulation Amanda has undertaken to resolve a FATHER / SON FAMILIAL RIFT. Amanda, realizing the conflict has ended, offers LOVE to Sarek, thus reaffirming their MOTHER-FATHER-SON relationship.
A PLOT crisis resolved, Kirk collapses from SEVERE INJURY and is helped to bed. Whereupon McCoy TEMPORARILY USURPS AUTHORITY and orders both Kirk and Spock lie in bed for NEEDED RECOVERY.
In a curious backhanded almost 'breaking the 4th wall' wink to the audience, McCoy gloats at 'having the last word', whereupon ACT 4 ends and CREDITS ROLL. This also references the beginning of PROLOG, where McCoy opened the story complaining about the stuffiness of having to wear formal regalia. By the end, McCoy is at home in his sick bay, wearing standard dress, and entirely in control.
Below is a somewhat poorly done chart, drawn by hand, depicting story timeline, split by act numbers, scene numbers, plot threads, and per scene emotional charge. It's probably a little inaccurate.
 | |
| Act, Scene, Plot Thread, and Emotional Charge Breakdown. |
---- BEAT BREAKDOWN ----
CONTROLLING IDEA: Reclaiming a father-son relationship is more important than mere duty to a cause or institution.
TEASER PROLOGUE:
ESTABLISHING SHOT: In orbit at Vulcan.
INT. KIRK’S PRIVATE QUARTERS
A PLOT: OPENS
SCENE 1: McCoy and Kirk preparing in full dress uniform.
BEAT 1:
- McCoy complains about the stuffiness of dress / Kirk Consoles him by saying that the last delegates are almost on board.
- McCoy counters by listing all the things that must be done formally, all the troubles ahead.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE HALLWAY
BEAT 2:
- Spock joins group.
- Chekov informs Kirk over intercom that shuttle from Vulcan is arriving.
 |
| At least you don't have to wear a tie, dude. |
- Shuttle arrives.
BEAT 3:
- Formal ceremony as ambassador exits shuttle.
- McCoy questions Spock about Vulcan salute / Spock shows.
- McCoy unable to mimic Spock, expresses continued distaste for formalities of pomp and circumstance.
NOTE: COMIC RELIEF – JOKE: hurts worse than the uniform.
BEAT 4:
- Ambassador Sarek disembarks / Kirk leads him through ceremony to Spock and McCoy.
- Sarek shows distaste at seeing Spock, refusing to recognize his existence.
- Kirk introduces McCoy, Sarek responds by recognizing him.
- Sarek introduces his aides and wife Amanda to group.
Bugger Off, Spock
- Kirk offers Mr Spock to conduct a tour of the ship / Sarek refuses, requesting another guide.
- Kirk agrees and offers Spock an opportunity to transport down to meet his parents before the ship leaves.
NOTE: AWKWARD SITUATION for Kirk and McCoy.
BEAT 6:
- Spock REVEALS: Sarek and his wife are his parents.
INCITING INCIDENT: END OF BEAT 5 REVEAL INCITES ALL FORWARD EVENTS IN PLOT LINE A AND IS TURNING POINT FOR SCENE.
END TEASER. FADE OUT: 3m13s
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE. MCCOY COMPLAINS ABOUT FULFILLING THE FORMALITIES OF HIS DUTY.
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE. SPOCK REVEALS STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER AND AMBASSADOR SAREK DURING A DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE HE IS OBLIGED TO SUPPORT.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 6: as Spock makes SITUATION REVEAL about Sarek and Amanda being his PARENTS after Sarek’s REFUSAL TO RECOGNIZE SON.
SCENE NOTES: McCoy’s discomfort at being forced to wear regalia and formally conduct himself according to pomp and circumstance of a diplomatic mission is not resolved. Instead, the story turns from McCoy and Kirk to Spock and his strained relationship with his father and boarding ambassador Sarek. This functions as a mini-plot twist in a single set up scene that then establishes the primary conflict between Spock and Sarek to be resolved across this story arc.
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ACT 1: (Opens 4m17s)
SCENE 1:
ESTABLISHING SHOT: ENTERPRISE LEAVES ORBIT OF VULCAN AND PROCEEDS INTO OPEN SPACE.
A PLOT: CONTINUATION
VOICEOVER EXPOSITION OF CAPTAIN’S LOG.
FADE IN:
NOTE: VOICEOVER EXPOSITION ' CAPTAIN'S LOG' BLEEDS INTO FADE IN AS KIRK PROCEEDS WITH SAREK ON A TOUR OF THE SHIP. SAREK’S WIFE FOLLOWS BEHIND.
CUT TO: INT. ENGINEERING – NEAR DOORWAY
BEAT 1:
- Kirk leads Sarek and Amanda into INT. ENGINEERING. Spock is at work at a console and stands as they enter.
- Kirk explains controls to Sarek while Amanda stays behind to speak with Spock.
BEAT 2:
- Amanda chides Spock for his inability to smile / Spock deflects probe from his mother.
- Amanda chides Spock for his unwillingness to visit / Spock refers to a ‘situation’ between Sarek and him that remains unresolved.
BEAT 3:
- Sarek beckons Amanda, ending the discussion.
- Kirk beckons Spock, requiring that he join the group.
NOTE: TENSION INCREASES AS MEMBERS OF THE PARTY IN CONFLICT ARE FORCED TOGETHER.
CUT TO: INT. ENGINEERING – NEAR SYSTEM CONSOLE
- Kirk commands Spock to explain to Sarek the ‘computer components’.
NOTE: UNCOMFORTABLE GLANCES BETWEEN SPOCK AND SAREK.
BEAT 4:
- Sarek chides Kirk for presumptuousness in having his son explain what he had taught Spock as a child. Implied insult of Starfleet as Spock’s choice of career.
BEAT 5:
- Spock exits scene in a huff.
- Kirk attempts to apologize to Sarek / Sarek diffuses situation by politely refusing apology.
- Sarek exits tour, orders Amanda to finish tour with Kirk.
BEAT 6:
- Kirk expression confusion over this behavior to Amanda / Amanda one ups him by showing her better understanding of Vulcan speech (as if this could help explain a father-son conflict).
- Amanda changes subject, requesting to complete tour / Kirk chides Sarek for ordering her.
- Amanda responds that such is the norm for Vulcans / Kirk changes subject to Spock.
- Amanda points to Kirk’s ignorance of Vulcan culture, claims the Vulcan way better than human culture but difficult on those who adhere to them. This cultural difference is what keeps Sarek and Spock apart.
- Kirk defends Spock as both officer and friend / Amanda compliments Kirk for his friendship while patronizing Spock for a difficult childhood and estrangement from both Earth and Vulcan cultures.
- Kirk brings up Spock’s choice of career / Amanda defends her husband’s view of Starfleet as too violent for a proper Vulcan.
- Kirk defends Starfleet as using force as a last resort, challenges Vulcan Science Academy as inferior to Starfleet for research opportunities / Amanda does not dispute Kirk’s assertion, instead challenging Spock based on Sarek’s preference that Spock follow his teachings and the Vulcan way.
BEAT 7:
- Kirk challenges both Sarek and Spock as being ‘stubborn’ / Amanda recognizes this ‘stubbornness’ as not Vulcan but a universal emotional trait.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 7: IS THE PRIME TURNING POINT OF THIS SCENE. AS SPOCK AND SAREK CONTINUE THEIR FUED, KIRK AND AMANDA DEBATE THE NATURE OF VULCAN LOGIC IN RELATION TO THEIR DISPUTE. ULTIMATELY, KIRK WINS THE DEBATE, FRAMING THEIR RIFT AS NOT LOGICAL BUT EMOTIONAL STUBBORNNESS. AMANDA IS FORCED TO CONCEDE THIS POINT.
B PLOT: OPENS: (at tail of SCENE 1)
NOTE: INTERCOM INTERRUPTS DISCUSSION BETWEEK KIRK AND AMANDA
NOTE: INTERCOM INTERRUPTS DISCUSSION BETWEEK KIRK AND AMANDA
- Uhura via video call informs captain of an unknown signal that she’s intercepted / Kirk orders scans and heightened alert.
B PLOT INCITING INCIDENT: THE QUESTION OF WHERE AND WHAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ‘MYSTERY SIGNAL.’ RESOLUTION OF B PLOT MUST PROVIDE THAT ANSWER.
OPENING VALUE: NEUTRAL / POSITIVE:
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE: Both A and B PLOTS end DOWN as a conflict between Spock and Sarek continues in A PLOT and a MYSTERY TRANSMISSION shows events in B PLOT are out of CAPTAIN KIRK’S control.
---
SCENE 2: (ends 8m17s for 4m scene)
CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION ROOM – NEAR TABLE
A PLOT CONTINUATION:
FAST CUT: DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE FUNCTION AS ATTENDEES MINGLE.
VOICEOVER: ‘CAPTAIN’S LOG’ EXPOSITION.
NOTE: KIRK, SPOCK, MCCOY, SAREK AND AMANDA HUDDLE AS A CONFERENCE ATTENDEES TALK IN THE BACKGROUND.
BEAT 1:
- McCoy asks to confirm Ambassador Sarek’s prior retirement, isn’t he too young? / Sarek corrects doctor by over specifying his age (ONE UPMANSHIP), deflects main question.
 | |
| French Scene: subscene for A PLOT in Scene 2 with Spock's kin family and ship family all present | . |
CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION ROOM – AWAY FROM TABLE
C PLOT: OPENS
BEAT 2:
BEAT 2:
- Kirk leads Sarek away from group / Interrupted by Terrerite Ambassador Gav.
- Gav directly asks Sarek central question about diplomatic conference, his deciding vote / Sarek deflects question.
- Gav rejects deflection, asks again / Andorian delegate interrupts with question.
- Gav answers question directly.
 |
| French Scene: subscene for C PLOT in Scene 2 with Sarek and Tellorite Gav in verbal conflict |
BEAT 3:
- Sarek insults Gav and his people / Gav tries to respond / Kirk interrupts to diffuse conflict.
- Sarek agrees with Kirk / Andorian and Tellorite apologize to Kirk.
- Gav and EXTRA tellorite exit / Andorian questions Sarek / Sarek answers directly.
CUT TO: AMANDA, SPOCK, AND MCCOY HUDDLED TOGETHER.
INT. RECEPTION – NEAR TABLE
BEAT 4:
- Amanda gloats that Gav lost prior debate with Sarek.
C PLOT: INCITING INCIDENT: SAREK AND TELLORITE AMBASSADOR GAV HAVE VERBAL CONFRONTATION.
NOTE: THIS INDICATES THAT AMANDA WAS OVERHEARING DISCUSSION BETWEEN SAREK, GAV, KIRK AND ANDORIAN. HER GLOATING INDICATES PRIDE AND WILLINGNESS TO OBSERVE HER HUSBAND SURRUPTICIOUSLY.
A PLOT TRANSITION:
BEAT 5:
- McCoy needles Spock about sensitive subject (his humanity) in front of Amanda, directs question to Amanda about Spock’s childhood / Amanda responds with underhanded indulgence at opportunity to demean Spock in front of his colleague. (Spock’s childhood pet).
- McCoy takes open pleasure in learning this tidbit / Sarek interrupts and leads Amanda away.
- Kirk joins group.McCoy demeans Spock over childhood tidbit in front of Kirk / Spock challenges Amanda’s depiction cute depiction of his childhood pet.
- Spock walks away in constrained huff.
B PLOT: TRANSITION
CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION ROOM – WALL INTERCOM
BEAT 6:
- Chekov Interrupts McCoy and Kirk laughing behind Spock’s back. Informs Captain of unidentified vessel following Enterprise / Kirk orders upgrade of alert status to ‘Yellow Alert’
 |
| French Scene: subscene for B PLOT where Kirk discusses MYSTERY SHIP with bridge officer. |
OPENING VALUE: NEUTRAL / POSITIVE
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE: Across all three PLOT THREADS, problems compound. In A PLOT, McCoy, and Amanda needle and demean Spock about human traits he finds embarrassing. In C PLOT, Tellarite Ambassador Gav of challenges Sarek about Vulcan diplomatic matters. In B PLOT, Chekov informs Kirk of an unknown ship tailing the Enterprise.
TURNING POINTS: A PLOT, McCoy and Amanda succeed in demeaning Spock over perceived inappropriate humanity both in childhood and today; B PLOT, discovery of MYSTERY SHIP, likely relation to MYSTERY SIGNAL; C PLOT, Kirk shuts down escalating confrontation between Sarek and Gav
NOTE: ALL CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN A, B, AND C PLOTS ARE PRESENT OR AVAILABLE, ALLOWING THREE PLOT THREADS TO INTERTWINE IN ONE SCENE THROUGH THE USE OF SUBSCENES BY CHANGING LOCATIONS AND GROUPS OF PEOPLE WITHIN ONE SET LOCATION.
---
SCENE 3: (11m50s - 3m33s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. MAIN ENTERPRISE BRIDGE - OVERLOOKING VIEWSCREEN.
B PLOT CONTINUES:
BEAT 1:
- Kirk enters from turbolift, Spock behind him. Kirk walks up to Chekov, demands report. Spock walks to SCIENCE STATION / Checkov reports detection of ship on VIEWSCREEN, out of WEAPONS range.
BEAT 2:
- Kirk walks to SCIENCE STATION, demands report from Spock / Spock reports ship small but configuration unknown.
BEAT 3:
- Kirk walks to COMMUNICATIONS STATION, demands report from Uhuru – is HAIL answered? / Uhuru reports, no communication with vessel.
- Kirk orders Uhuru to continue attempting communication with vessel.
BEAT 4:
- Walks away to SCIENCE STATION, orders Spock to check records for ‘authorized ships’.
- Spock reports, ‘no such authorized ships’.
- Kirk requests that Spock speculate as to nature of ship / Spock refuses for lack of information.
BEAT 5:
- Kirk walks to Checkov, orders interception course for a close view.
- Sits in CAPTAIN’S CHAIR.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE: Kirk takes action.
TURNING POINT:BEAT 5, Kirk orders interception course – first action taken intended to force confrontation and resolve issue.
NOTE: MYSTERY OF TRANSMISSION IN PRIOR B PLOT HAS NOW COMPOUNDED TO A MYSTERY OF UNKNOWN SHIP TAILING ENTERPRISE.
---
SCENE 4: (12m45s – 55s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. SAREK’S QUARTERS
CUT TO: INT. SAREK’S QUARTERS
A PLOT TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Sarek Sits, Amanda stands behind.
- Sarek chides Amanda for embarrassing Spock in front of his colleagues, Vulcans do not deserve such treatment / Amanda deflects charge by asserting Spock’s human traits.
BEAT 2:
- Sarek defends Spock’s role and formal position in Starfleet / Amanda changes subject to Sarek’s disapproval of Starfleet.
BEAT 3:
- Sarek asserts the factual nature of Spock’s association with Starfleet , his need for respect among peers to fulfill his duty / Amanda changes subject to Sarek’s EMOTIONAL PRIDE for his son’s success.
- AMANDA challenges Sarek in FEELING ‘human pride’ for his son / Sarek deflects charge, asserting FEELING pride is not necessary to recognize proper respect for Spock’s role.
- Sarek asserts this respect as universal to the Starfleet role and not specific to Spock as his son
BEAT 4:
- Sarek asks Amanda to confirm she ‘understands’ his position / Amanda refuses, but proffers FEELING of LOVE for her husband.
- Sarek expresses annoyance at Amanda’s expression of LOVE / Amanda recognizes LACK OF LOGIC in her LOVE FOR SAREK.
 |
| Actor Mark Leonard as Vulcan Sarek emoting microexpression 'exasperation'. |
BEAT 5:
- Sarek smiles and reticently offers tender moment with wife Amanda.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE: Expression of emotional tenderness.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 4 – Central issue of Amanda demeaning Spock in public remains unresolved, but the two temporarily resolve the conflict through a tender moment.
NOTE: IMPLIED VULCAN EMOTIONS SUPRESSED, THESE ARE NOT AEMOTIONAL BEINGS.
---
SCENE 5: (13m49s – 1m3s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE – SCIENCE STATION
B PLOT TRANSITION:
BEAT 1:
- Spock informs Kirk and BRIDGE CREW that MYSTERY VESSEL is charging ENTERPRISE.
INT. BRIDGE - CAPTAIN’S CHAIR
- Kirk orders Checkov WEAPONS READY / Checkov confirms WEAPONS READY.
BEAT 2:
- TENSE MOMENT as Kirk does NOT order WEAPONS FIRE.
- MYSTERY SHIP passes by without ramming or firing.
BEAT 3:
CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE – SCIENCE STATION
- Spock informs Kirk and BRIDGE CREW of MYSTERY SHIP’s extreme speed, unmatchable by ENTERPRISE.
BEAT 4:
CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE – CAPTAIN’s CHAIR
- Kirk orders ENTERPRISE back on course and to report to Starfleet on MYSTERY SHIP’s movements.
CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE – COMMUNICATIONS STATION
BEAT 5:
- Uhura confirms Starfleet receipt of ENTERPRISE STATUS REPORT and also confirms that MYSTERY SHIP is TRAVELING UNAUTHORIZED.
CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE
BEAT 6:
- Checkov confirms new course heading to original destination, confirms MYSTERY SHIP has resumed tailing ENTERPRISE.
CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE: CAPTAIN’S CHAIR (PAN IN TO CLOSEUP OF KIRK)
BEAT 7:
- Kirk PARAPHRASES situation (EXPOSITION IN DIALOG FOR AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHO DIDN’T CATCH ON).
- Kirk orders Spock to perform a sensor analysis.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE: Situation unknown as Kirk and Spock enter the ENTERPRISE BRIDGE.
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE: Situation remains unknown, but has now escalated to dangerous as MYSTERY SHIP nearly rammed and threatened the ENTERPRISE.
TURNING POINT: MYSTERY SHIP NEARLY RAMS ENTERPRISE, SHOWING ITSELF TO BE A DIRECT THREAT.
---
SCENE 6: (14m50s – 1m3s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE FUNCTION ROOM
C PLOT: TRANSITION.
BEAT 1:
- Gav pours a drink / Sarek enters room, walks to table for drink.
- Gav watches Sarek, steps forward to question him.
 |
| Closed eyes, tight face, Mark Leonard emotes 'annoyance' even as his character claims Vulcans don't feel. |
BEAT 2:
- Gav challenges Sarak to speak / Sarek accepts challenge.
- Gav questions Sarek on his vote again / Sarek deflects question, then answers directly on his vote (in opposition to Gav’s hoped for vote).
- Gav challenges Vulcan vote choice / Sarek responds directly with Vulcan rationale.
- Gav challenges Vulcan interests / Sarek provides selfless rationale in support of contested resources and population (of planet Coridan), implies Gav’s government is engaged in illicit self-interested conduct.
- Gav challenges Sarek over charge that Tellerite government is engaged in illicit behavior / Sarek notes that Tellerite ships have been found containing illicit resources from Coridan.
- Gav takes affront at Sarek’s charge, escalates to violence, attempting to strangle Sarek.
- Sarek breaks Gav’s assault, throwing him back against wall.
BEAT 3:
- Kirk enters room, restrains Gav from continuing violence, deescalates situation.
- Kirk demands order from both Sarek and Gav.
- Both Sarek and Gav agree with Kirk’s command (DEFERRING TO HERO'S AUTHORITY)
BEAT 4:
- Gav moves to leave, threatens Sarek for ‘slandering’ Tellerite government.
- Sarek discounts Gav’s threat (bad dialog, ‘payment is expensive?’ Duh).
- Gav exits room.
BEAT 5:
- PAN IN: for CLOSEUP of Kirk’s scowl and CUT TO: Sarek’s muted smirk.
OPENING VALUE: NEUTRAL
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE: Violent confrontation between conference delegates interrupted by Kirk at last minute.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 3: Escalation of violent conflict between Sarek and Gav interfered with by Kirk, who barely restores order.
---
---
SCENE 7: (16m50s – 2m0s transpired)
CUT TO: EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT: ENTERPRISE IN TRANSIT
C PLOT: CONTINUATION
CUT TO: INT. JEFFRIES TUBE
BEAT 1:
SHOCK TURN:
SHOCK TURN:
- Gav hanging upside down dead.
- Guard discovers Gav’s body, contacts Kirk over INTERCOM.
CUT TO: INT. KIRK’S PRIVATE QUARTERS.
BEAT 2:
- Guard informs Kirk of Gav’s murder.
PAN IN: Kirk’s REACTION SHOT
FADE OUT:
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE: This short scene serves expository purposes only to show outcome of Gav’s death.
TURNING POINT OF PROLOG AND ACT 1: Gav’s death is a primary turning point for C PLOT.
NOTE: By RULE OF THREE (Booker, Seven Basic Plots, pg. 229), Events in A PLOT repeat twice – Spock is disrespected by father and demeaned by mother; mother challenged by father; B PLOT, MYSTERY SIGNAL DISCOVERED, MYSTERY SHIP DISCOVERED, MYSTERY SHIP THREATENS ENTERPRISE; C PLOT, Gav challenges Sarek, Gav assaults Sarek and threatens him, Gav is found dead. THUS: Three escalations of events across three plot threads lead to MAJOR TURN.
END ACT 1: (17m21s – 31s transpired)
-----
OPEN ACT 2:
SCENE 1:
FADE IN: INT. ENTERPRISE HALLWAY
C PLOT: CONTINUATION
BEAT 1:
- McCoy conducts emergency treatment of dead Gav.
- Kirk questions McCoy on manner of death / McCoy confirms death by ‘expertly’ broken neck.
- Kirk demands explanation / McCoy confirms only an expert assassin would know how to perform this killing.
- Kirk questions who could do this thing / McCoy looks to Spock.
BEAT 2:
- Spock confirms that a Vulcan would know how to do this. Spock continues with terminology of this as an ancient method of ‘merciful’ execution.
- Kirk notes prior violent encounter between Sarek and Gav / Spock ignores obvious implication that these NEW FACTS make Sarak the PRIME SUSPECT.
BEAT 3:
- McCoy challenges Spock for refusing to suspect Sarek / Spock defends Sarek.
- Kirk questions Spock, is it impossible? / Spock confirms Sarek’s capacity to kill, but declares such a murder ‘ILLOGICAL’.
- Kirk presses point – is it possible? / Spock concedes, Sarek competent and capable of killing in this manner under certain circumstances.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – Determining PRIME SUSPECT would seem a POSITIVE outcome, yet because the suspect is SECONDARY HERO this turns scene NEGATIVE.
TURNING POINT: Beat 3: Confirmation that Sarek is competent to kill in the exact manner of Gav’s death.
---
---
SCENE 2: (18m50s – 1m21s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. SAREK’S PRIVATE QUARTERS
C PLOT: CONTINUATION
BEAT 1:
- Kirk, Spock and McCoy interrupt Amanda as they enter without notification.
- Kirk apologizes to Amanda for disturbance, demands to speak with Sarek / Amanda confirms that he’s no present but busy ‘meditating’ away from quarters
NOTE: GIVING SAREK NO ALIBI FOR MURDER
- Amanda demands from Spock explanation for intrusion / Sarek enters before anyone can answer.
- Sarek questions Kirk on nature of intrusion / Kirk directly informs Sarek of Gav’s murder.
BEAT 2:
- McCoy informs Sarek of Gav’s broken neck and the relation to Vulcan methods of execution, thereby informing Sarek he is PRIME SUSPECT / Sarek responds by accepting facts while ignoring implication of suspicion.
BEAT 3:
- Kirk presses Sarek on his location during murder, seeking alibi.
- Amanda interrupts, affronted by the implied accusation / Spock consoles Amanda and confirms that Sarek is a ‘LOGICAL SUSPECT.’
BEAT 4:
- Sarek voices agreement to Kirk that he is a REASONABLE PRIME SUSPECT.
- Kirk presses Sarek again for alibi / Sarek refuses to provide alibi, Vulcan meditation matters are private, asks Spock to confirm this.
- Kirk derides Sarek's statement as CONVENIENT EXCUSE.
BEAT 5:
- Sarek collapses from apparent illness / McCoy rushes to his aid.
- McCoy conducts spot diagnosis, determines heart trouble / Kirk asks if he can be treated.
- McCoy is uncertain about treatment.
 |
| Members of both Spock's 'kin family' and 'institutional family' present to witness Sarek's collapse |
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – Sarek collapses with apparent deadly illness.
TURNING POINT: Challenging Sarek on the murder of Gav leads to symptoms of HEART FAILURE.
NOTE: Sarek’s HEART FAILURE is COINCIDENT with his and Spock’s family conflict and estrangement - a physical symptom metaphorically representing an emotional breach of the heart. This IMPLIES an intertwining of C PLOT and A PLOT.
---
SCENE 3: (20m29s – 1m39s transpired)
CROSS FADE TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE, SCIENCE STATION.
A PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Spock conducts sensor analysis / Kirk approaches from behind.
- Kirk interrupts Spock, presumed concern for Spock’s emotional welfare / Spock deflects concern, provides factual statement about MYSTERY VESSEL.
- Kirk offers condolences about Sarek / Spock negates emotional sorrow and REFRAMES matter as one of MISSION SUCCESS.
- Kirk directly questions Spock about matter, aren’t you worried about him? / Spock deflects emotional matter as human, claims to accept facts at hand.
BEAT 2:
- Spock moves away to other area of SCIENCE STATION CONSOLE, separating himself from Kirk, TURNING AWAY from Kirk’s line of questioning.
- Spock informs Kirk of NEW FACTS about MYSTERY SHIP / Kirk responds to subtext of Spock’s unwillingness to express emotion, ignoring factual analysis of MYSTERY SHIP.
NOTE: Kirk's gaze upon Spock as the scene opens. Spock sees but ignores. Then Kirk forces the issue of his concern for Spock's feelings about events that have transpired, which Spock refuses to recognize by CHANGING THE SUBJECT to matters of official business. Nimoy uses micro facial expressions to depict annoyance at Kirk's intrusion into matters of private life.
BEAT 3:
- Kirk transitions to FACTUAL ANALYSIS about MYSTERY SHIP, ruling out potential suspects (Romulans, Federation, Neutral planets). Asks about Klingons / Spock refutes this speculation.
- Kirk questions Spock – Who?
BEAT 4:
- Uhura interrupts, informs Kirk of new MYSTERY TRANSMISSION.
- Kirk strolls away from Spock to Uhura.
- Uhura continues informing Kirk about MYSTERY TRANSMISSION / Kirk investigates Uhura’s COMMUNICATIONS CONSOLE.
- Kirk informs Checkov of EXTERNAL location of MYSTERY TRANSMISSION.
- Checkov confirms MYSTERY TRANSMISSION comes from MYSTERY SHIP.
BEAT 5:
- Kirk orders Uhura to route MYSTERY TRANSMISSION to Spock’s SCIENCE STATION CONSOLE.
- Another MYSTERY TRANSMISSION.
- Uhura notices that reception point is within ENTERPRISE.
BEAT 6:
- Kirk RESTATES OBVIOUS of EXPOSITION IN DIALOG for AUDIENCE (walks to Science Station and Spock, as if speaking to Spock).
- Spock confirms possibility, states that decoding signal is impossible.
- Kirk questions Spock: Conclusions? / Spock can determine nothing more than signal is ALIEN in nature.
BEAT 7:
- Kirk walks to Uhura’s COMMUNICATIONS CONSOLE, musing to himself (and AUDIENCE), linking MYSTERY TRANSMISSION to MYSTERY SHIP to MYSTERY MURDER.
- Kirk notices error on Uhura’s COMMUNICATIONS CONSOLE setting, making it difficult to determine location of reception point in ship. Chides her for the mistake.
- Uhura confirms, deferring to Kirk’s command and reconfigures CONSOLE setting.
BEAT 8:
- Kirk muses to himself in EXPOSITION IN DIALOG for AUDIENCE UNDERSTANDING (now if alien vessel transmits we’ll get ‘em)
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE – concern for Spock’s emotional state
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE – One step closer to determining crucial facts about MYSTERY SIGNAL, MYSTERY SHIP, AND MYSTERY MURDER.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 7: After determining in BEATs 4 and 5 that MYSTERY SIGNAL comes from MYSTERY SHIP and that the reception point is within ENTERPRISE, in BEAT 7 Kirk has Uhura set her COMMUNICATIONS CONSOLE to detect reception point within ship.
---
SCENE 4: (22m46s – 2m17s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY
A PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Nurse Chappell attends to Sarek
PULL OUT and PAN LEFT:
- Chappell takes tray to counter, Pass McCoy in background attending to Sarek.
- Amanda stands by door.
- Kirk and Spock enter SICK BAY.
BEAT 2:
- Kirk asks for STATUS REPORT on Sarek’s condition / McCoy confirms Sarek suffering from HEART FAILURE.
- McCoy asks Amanda about previous ill health / Amanda confirms not / Sarek Confirms YES. Lists prior incidents and doctor response.
- Amanda confronts Sarek for keeping information private / Sarek asserts her inability to help made informing her irrelevant.
BEAT 3:
- Kirk presses Sarek on timeline for prior HEART ATTACKS / Sarek, three attacks, two before on Vulcan, one during Gav’s murder.
- Kirk presses for witnesses / Sarek can provide no alibi.
BEAT 4:
- Spock to McCoy, asking if surgery is an option / McCoy expresses concern he is incompetent to operate on a Vulcan.
- Spock proposes type of surgery / Sarek agrees.
- Kirk asks McCoy’s opinion / McCoy expresses disdain at his exclusion from proposed surgical solution.
BEAT 5:
- McCoy to Kirk: Problem: Such a surgical procedure requires considerable blood / Nurse Chappell, not enough blood on board to fulfill surgical objective.
- Kirk proposes solution, transfusion from other Vulcans / Sarek counters his is a rare blood type.
- McCoy agrees with Sarek / Spock counters that his blood is compatible.
- Nurse Chappell notes Spock’s blood contains human impurities / Spock counters that filtering out these impurities is possible.
- McCoy counters Spock saying such a large blood donation is too dangerous.
BEAT 6:
- Kirk leads McCoy away for private discussion.
- McCoy interrupts start of private discussion with Kirk to inform Amanda that chance of success at finding sufficient blood is poor / Spock agrees, attempts to ‘estimate odds.’
- Amanda interrupts Spock to silence him before he gives a number.
NOTE: COMIC RELIEF by GALLOWS HUMOR. ALSO: Kirk and McCoy private discussion is cut off and either takes place off scene or not at all.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE
TURNING POINT: In BEAT 4 Spock and Sarek propose a surgical solution. But there isn’t enough blood on hand to successfully perform the operation. In BEAT 5 Kirk proposes a blood transfusion solution, which is countered by Sarek. By BEAT 6 McCoy is consoling Amanda about Sarek’s impending death. NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL CHARGE then diminished with COMIC RELIEF by using GALLOWS HUMOR as Amanda prevents Spock from calculating Sarek’s odds of survival.
----
----
SCENE 5: (25m23s – 2m37s transpired)
CUT TO: EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT OF ENTERPRISE: TRAVELING TO DESTINATION
CUT TO: INT. MEDICAL LAB
A PLOT: CONTINUES
BEAT 1:
- Spock questions McCoy (unstated about what) / McCoy challenges Spock about thesis on grounds of ‘different physiology’.
- Spock counters about similarities / McCoy disagrees – ‘too experimental’.
- Spock presses on this unstated ‘proposed solution’ / McCoy counters that even if this DRUG SOLUTION were to work, it wouldn’t solve primary problem of providing Sarek with needed blood to perform surgery.
- Spock agrees it’s dangerous but the only option / McCoy expresses fear of failure, he’s never done this before. Exposes a hidden assumption that Sarek would take this drug.
BEAT 2:
- Amanda enters. Asks McCoy for specifics on DRUG SOLUTION / McCoy provides explanation to Amanda (EXPOSITION IN DIALOG FOR AUDIENCE AS WELL).
- Spock counters its success in other contexts / McCoy notes that proposed DRUG SOLUTION would be lethal to Sarek.
BEAT 3:
- Spock has SOLUTION EPIPHANY, asks Nurse Chappell about results of recent physical exam / Chappell confirms Spock’s top notch health.
- McCoy challenges Spock on relevance of his health.
- Interrupted by Amanda, EXPOSITION IN DIALOG for AUDIENCE, explains Spock will take drug instead.
- Spock confirms proposal.
- Amanda expresses relief and respect for Spock’s willingness to risk his life to save Sarek.
- McCoy notes severe risks to the procedure, confirming RISK OF DEATH.
- Amanda’s face shows concern and respect.
BEAT 4:
- McCoy refuses to perform procedure / Amanda agrees, refusing to risk both Spock’s and Sarek’s life.
- Spock counters UNACCEPTABLE CONSEQUENCE: then Sarek will die - / Amanda shows fear of POTENTIAL OUTCOME.
- Spock walks to McCoy, demands procedure as being the ONLY ALTERNATIVE.
- Spock reiterates his volunteer status as WILLING TO RISK DEATH to SAVE FATHER’S LIFE and thus HEAL BROKEN HEART and RESOLVE FAMILIAL BREACH.
BEAT 5:
- Spock exits in triumph at having proposed VIABLE IF RISKY SOLUTION.
- Pregnant pauses and shots of both Amanda and McCoy as they consider Spock’s proposal.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE – ALL HOPE LOST
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE: - NEW PROPOSED RISKY SOLUTION
TURNING POINT: BEAT 4, after debates in BEATs 1 and 2, Spock has epiphany in BEAT 3 which leads to PROPOSED RISKY SOLUTON in BEAT 4. Further, Spock ONE UPS McCoy with SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE and COURAGE, demanding he perform PROPOSED RISKY SOLUTION even though McCoy fears the consequences.
----
SCENE 6: (28m09s – 2m14s transpired)
SLAM CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE HALLWAY
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Andorian functionary ATTACKS Kirk with knife, they begin apparent FIGHT TO THE DEATH.
- Both SCUFFLE, falling to floor and getting up.
- Andorian corners Kirk, whose back is to the wall.
- Andorian comes in for KILL.
- Kirk finds POINT OF WEAKNESS, presses ATTACK, drops Andorian to floor.
- Kirk presses attack that drops him to floor / Andorian stabs Kirk in back.
- Kirk gets up and knocks Andorian unconscious with knee to face.
- Kirk goes to INTERCOM and CALLS FOR HELP.
- Spock responds at ENTERPRISE BRIDGE in COMMAND.
- Kirk informs Spock of VIOLENT CONFRONTATION, then falls unconscious from SEVERE MORTAL WOUND.
- Spock fruitlessly calls to Kirk over INTERCOM
WORST. WWE MOVE. EVER.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT 2: (29m17s – 1m8s transpired)
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE – SURPRISE VIOLENT CONFRONTATION BETWEEN HERO AND ANTAGONIST IN PROGRESS.
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – VIOLENT CONFLICT ENDS IN POSSIBLY FATAL WOUND TO HERO, CAPTAIN KIRK.
TURNING POINT: KIRK IS STABBED IN THE BACK.
NOTE: Now both FATHER FIGURES, Sarek (Spock’s familial father) and Kirk (FATHER OF ENTERPRISE) are gravely ill, one by HEART FAILURE, the other by VIOLENT CONFRONTATION.
---
ACT 3: (29m19s – 2s transpired)
SCENE 1:
FADE IN: EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT OF ENTERPRISE ON ROUTE TO DESTINATION. VOICEOVER OF CAPTAIN’S LOG, NOW GIVEN BY SPOCK, PROVIDES EXPOSITION ON STATUS.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY
B PLOT AND C PLOT APPARENTLY MERGE. HERE, QUESTION OVER THE MYSTERY SIGNAL, MYSTERY SHIP AND MYSTERY MURDER HAVE BEEN ANSWERED WITH MYSTERY ANDORIAN ATTACK ON CAPTAIN KIRK. QUESTION: HOW IS THIS RELATED TO GAV’S MURDER?
BEAT 1:
- McCoy exposition Kirk’s bad knife wound / Spock assigns himself task of questioning Andorian prisoner.
BEAT 2:
- Nurse Chappell interrupts with bad news about Sarek / McCoy informs Spock he must operate immediately (blocking Spock from his duties).
BEAT 3:
- Spock refuses on grounds of duty to the ship / McCoy offers alternative command – Scotty.
- Spock maintains he lacks authority to refuse command responsibilities to resolve a personal matter.
BEAT 4:
- Spock exits room to interrogate Andorian prisoner.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE – Both Sarek and Kirk are mortally ill or wounded.
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – Spock refuses to relinquish command for reasons of DUTY.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 3: Spock’s refusal to relinquish command sentences his father to UNNECESSARY DEATH.
---
SCENE 2: (30m42s – 1m23s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIG – Andorian Prisoner ‘Theliv’ interrogation
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Andorian Ambassador names prisoner ‘Thelev’ and asserts he has served adequately.
BEAT 2:
- Spock reveals they have harshly interrogated prisoner yet learned nothing. Proposes conspiracy / Andorian rejects Andorian conspiracy theory.
- Spock focuses on Thelif’s motivations / Rejects Andorian conspiracy as without motivation.
BEAT 3:
- Spock asserts both attack on Kirk and Gav’s murder are without logic / Andorian Ambassador responds to at motivations of passion not logic
OPENING VALUE: NEUTRAL
CLOSING VALUE: NEUTRAL – No outcome positive or negative, nothing factual learned from questioning.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 3: Andorian Ambassador makes clear Spock is unsuited as interrogator and investigator as his QUEST FOR LOGIC impedes understanding the passions that drive MURDER.
---
SCENE 3: (31m36s – 52s transpired)
EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT - ENTERPRISE ON ROUTE TO DESTINATION
INT. SPOCK’S PRIVATE QUARTERS – AT WORK WITH COMPUTER TERMINAL
A PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- Spock is interrupted working at computer terminal by door buzzer / Amanda enters Spock’s private quarters.
BEAT 2:
- Amanda demands Spock relinquish command to save Sarek / Spock refuses on grounds of DUTY.
- Amanda, Spock alone has capacity to save Sarek / Refuses on grounds that Spock alone has DUTY to ENTERPRISE (lists reasons for SPECIAL DUTY)
BEAT 3:
- Spock turns back on Amanda.
- Amanda claims primary duty to family not service to ship / Spock rejects on grounds of DUTY TO SHIP precedence (lists ways he could fulfill duty to family that cannot be met).
BEAT 4:
- Spock claims Sarek would understand Spock must fulfill SPECIAL DUTY / Amanda counters that she does not understand this principle. Claims it ‘inhuman’.
- Spock turns to face Amanda / Amanda begs Spock feel his humanity (and save Sarek).
- Spock chides Amanda for not understanding VULCAN WAYS / Amanda REJECTS VULCAN WAYS
BEAT 5:
- Amanda turns away from Spock / Spock follows her to stand face to face.
- Spock gives LESSON IN VULCAN WAYS / Amanda rejects these principles as less important than Sarek’s life.
- Spock scolds Amanda on grounds that Sarek would disrespect Spock had he agreed with Amanda’s position / Amanda appeals to Spock’s FEELINGs and INNER HUMANITY by evoking childhood memories of teasing and abuse.
- Spock walks around to turn his back on Amanda
BEAT 6:
- Amanda GUILT TRIPs Spock ‘if he lets Sarek die, she’ll hate him for the rest of her life’ / Spock rejects Amanda’s guilt trip.
- Amanda slaps Spock across the face, exits room in huff / Spock accepts blow with VULCAN DIGNITY as she leaves.
BEAT 7:
- In private, Spock presses hand against closed door to PRIVATE QUARTERS and expresses HUMAN EMOTION (loneliness / sadness)
MONEY SHOT SCENE: Here Spock's Mother Attempts Guilt Trip
OPENING VALUE: NEUTRAL (at work)
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE (Spock has lost respect of MOTHER)
TURNING POINT: BEAT 6: As last ditch effort to convince Spock to change his mind and relinquish DUTY TO SHIP, Amanda guilt trips Spock, threatening to disown him if he ignores DUTY TO FAMILY and let’s Sarek die.
---
SCENE 4: (35m14s – 3m20s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. SICK BAY (Closeup of Sarek in bed)
A PLOT: CONTINUATION
BEAT 1:
- Nurse Chappell calls McCoy as Kirk regains consciousness.
- Kirk seemingly jokes about killing assailant / Chappell asks meaning.
- Kirk turns joke around, diffusing implied murderous threat
NOTE: SERVES TO SHOWCASE KIRK’S POSITIVE QUALITIES
BEAT 2:
- Kirk tries to sit up but FAILS / McCoy chides Kirk for foolishness of trying to move in his state.
- Kirk asks for update on Sarek / McCoy gives bad news.
- McCoy implies he can’t perform surgery / Kirk questions problem.
- McCoy gives update on Spock’s refusal to relinquish command / Kirk refuses to allow Spock to commit patricide, gets up in GREAT PAIN.
BEAT 3:
- McCoy warns Kirk about risks of moving in this condition.
- Kirk offers to take command from Spock, thus free him for surgery, then relinquish to Scotty / McCoy agrees.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE (Image of Sarek dying in bed)
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE (Kirk proposes solution to free Spock for surgery)
TURNING POINT: BEAT 3: At significant pain and risk to himself, Kirk makes GREAT SACRIFICE of taking command from Spock to free him for surgery, so Spock need not be caught by conflicting obligations of DUTY TO SHIP against DUTY TO FAMILY. This shows Kirk to be GREAT FRIEND to Spock and DESERVING HEROISM.
---
SCENE 5: (36m37s – 1m8s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (wideshot)
A PLOT: CONTINUATION
BEAT 1:
- Kirk enters bridge with McCoy / Spock shows surprise at his arrival.
- Kirk takes command, orders Spock to SICK BAY / Spock questions Kirk’s ability to command.
- McCoy intervenes, certifying Kirk as CAPABLE OF COMMAND / Kirk gives friendly order to leave (with smile)
BEAT 2:
- Spock (without dialog) shows quizzical expression then decides to leave with McCoy.
BEAT 3:
A PLOT and B PLOT mix
- Showing ABILITY OF COMMAND, Kirk orders STATUS REPORT on MYSTERY SHIP from Checkov / Checkov provides report of NO CHANGE.
- Kirk orders STATUS REPORT from COMMUNICATIONS STATION officer Uhura / Uhura reports NO CHANGE.
NOTE: Kirk making GREAT SACRIFICE to avoid showing EXTREME PAIN while taking command as Spock witnesses his COMMAND ABILITY.
BEAT 4:
- Spock exits bridge with McCoy.
- With Spock unable to witness, Kirk drops guard and expresses EXTREME PAIN to rest of BRIDGE CREW.
- Orders Scott to the bridge to relinquish command.
A PLOT: closes, leaving B PLOT: CONTINUATION
BEAT 5:
- Checkov informs Kirk of CHANGE with MYSTERY SHIP / Kirk takes over, refusing to relinquish command as SITUATION CHANGES.
BEAT 6:
- Uhura informs Kirk that MYSTERY SIGNAL is transmitting again, now from within ENTERPRISE.
- Kirk requests origin / Uhura determines from the brig (where Andorian assailant is held).
Beat 7:
- Kirk orders SECURITY to the brig.
OPENING VALUE: POSITIVE – Kirk makes GREAT SACRIFICE to free FRIEND and COLLEAGUE Spock from COMMAND DUTY so he may fulfill FAMILY DUTY unhindered.
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – As Kirk takes COMMAND, MYSTERY SHIP changes course and MYSTERY SIGNAL is located where Andorian PRISONER is held.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 7: After learning in Beat 5: and Beat 6: of NEW FACTS about MYSTERY SHIP and MYSTERY SIGNAL, Kirk TAKES ACTION based on these events.
---
SCENE 6: (37m47s – 1m10s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. SICK BAY (Preparation for Surgery)
A PLOT: RESUMES
BEAT 1:
- McCoy pushes button, green blood flows from Spock to Sarek, as Spock watches in the background.
BEAT 2: (PAN OUT TO WIDE VIEW WITH SAREK AND NURSE CHAPPELL IN FRAME)
- McCoy begins surgery, orders status report from Nurse Chappell / Chappell provides report.
- Amanda watches with concern.
- McCoy expresses IGNORANCE OF VULCAN PHYSIOLOGY (negating value of Chappell’s report).
NOTE: More GALLOWS HUMOR for COMIC RELIEF in order to reduce AUDIENCE TENSION????
BEAT 3:
- McCoy orders TECHNICAL MATTER / Nurse Chappell Complies.
BEAT 4:
- Spock attempts to sit up during surgery / McCoy intervenes / Spock demands to see Kirk
- McCoy refuses Spock / Spock makes PROPHETIC STATEMENT about MYSTERY SHIP.
- Nurse Chappell sedates Spock with DRUG.
- Spock passes out from effects of DRUG, thereby prevented from warning Kirk of PROPHETIC STATEMENT.
OPENING VALUE: POSITIVE (McCoy takes action to save Sarek’s life with help of Spock)
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE (Spock has epiphany on nature of MYSTERY SHIP that he is prevented from communicating to Kirk. But also POSITIVE in that with Spock’s help, Sarek has a chance to survive surgery.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 5: Spock passes out, unable to fulfill DUTY TO SHIP as he fulfills DUTY TO FAMILY.
---
SCENE 7: (38m51s – 1m4s transpired)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE HALLWAY (OVERLOOKING INT. BRIG WHERE ANDORIAN PRISONER IS HELD CAPTIVE)
C PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- GUARD searches Andorian Prisoner for MYSTERY transceiver to determine cause of MYSTERY SIGNAL.
- Andorian Prisoner attacks GUARD.
BEAT 2:
- SECOND GUARD shoots Andorian with STUN GUN.
BEAT 3:
- Andorian falls to ground, breaking FALSE BODY PART (‘antenna’), thus REVEAL -> MYSTERY transceiver.
- GUARD discovers FALSE BODY PART and MYSTERY TRANSIEVER.
BEAT 4:
- GUARD informs Kirk over INTERCOM of NEW FACTS crucial to resolving C PLOT: MYSTERY.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE
- Kirk takes report over INTERCOM from Guard.
NOTE: THOUGH THERE’S A FAST CUT TO A NEW LOCATION, THIS IS PART OF THE SAME SCENE AS INDICATED BY GUARD DIALOG CONTINUING ACROSS SETS FROM ONE PLACE TO THE NEXT.
BEAT 5:
- Checov reports to Kirk change in MYSTERY SHIP course and speed, in THREATENING POSTURE.
- Kirk orders GUARD to bring prisoner to the bridge.
BEAT 6:
- Kirk orders ship in DEFENSE POSITION, HIGHEST ALERT STATUS, ATTACK READY / Checkov confirms order.
BEAT 7:
- Kirk orders Checkov to SCIENCE STATION in place of Spock / Checkov confirms order and moves to new station (EXTRA takes Checkov’s place at the helm).
BEAT 8:
- MYSTERY SHIP makes FAST PASS and ATTACKS.
- Signs of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE BRIDGE SHAKES.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY (CLOSEUP of Sarek)
A PLOT: TRANSITION
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure.
- (REACTION SHOTS from McCoy, Amanda, and unconscious Spock in background)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (CLOSEUP of Kirk)
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 9:
- Kirk requests STATUS REPORT on TARGET of MYSTERY SHIP / Checkov provides report.
- MYSTERY SHIP comes around for another PASS and ATTACK.
- Kirk orders fire against MYSTERY SHIP FOR COUNTERATTACK.
- Enterprise COUNTER ATTACK FAILS / Checkov reports miss.
BEAT 10:
- Kirk demands report on MYSTERY SHIP available WEAPONRY / Checkov reports MYSTERY SHIP WEAPONRY of EQUAL OR LESS POWER to Enterprise.
- Kirk (EXPOSITION IN DIALOG FOR AUDIENCE) We can match them.
BEAT 11:
- Uhura reports problem with SHIP INTERCOM (Delegates overusing SHIP RESOURCE).
- Kirk orders SHIP INTERCOM cleared of UNAUTHORIZED USE / Uhura complies.
BEAT 12:
- Checkov reports another MYSTERY SHIP PASS of ATTACK.
- MYSTERY SHIP PASSES and ATTACKS.
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE BRIDGE SHAKES.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY (WIDE SHOT of Chappell and McCoy performing surgery, and unconscious Spock in background).
A PLOT: TRANSITION
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure.
- McCoy warns that if these ATTACKs continue, both Spock and Sarek might DIE.
- (REACTION SHOT of a fearful AMANDA at DIRE SITUATON)
FADE OUT: ACT 3 ENDS (40m42s – 1m49s transpired)
OPENING VALUE: POSITIVE – GUARD PERFORMING SEARCH OF PRISONER
CLOSING VALUE: NEGATIVE – ATTACKS OF MYSTERY SHIP HAVE CREATED A DIRE SITUATION, THREATENING THE ENTERPRISE, THE DELEGATES, AND SAREK’S AND SPOCK’S LIFE. ALL THREE PLOT THREADS OF STORY AND MAIN MISSION OF SERIES ARE AT RISK.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 5: After the MYSTERY TRANSCIEVER is discovered on the Andorian Prisoner in BEAT 4:, the MYSTERY SHIP begins ATTACKS against the Enterprise. From BEAT 6 through to BEAT 11: we see the outcome of this CHANGE OF ENEMY TACTIC.
NOTE: ACT 3 ENDS ON CLIFFHANGER
ACT 3 Transitions to ACT 4 in a Continuation of Scene
---
ACT 4:
SCENE 1 – CONTINUEATION FROM SCENE 7 ACT 3: (40m45s – 3s transpired)
NOTE: SCENE 7: IN ACT 3: AND SCENE 1: IN ACT 4: RUN TOGETHER. CUTS BETWEEN INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE AND INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY DO NOT CONSTITUTE SEPARATE SCENES BUT COMPARE AND CONTRAST CONFLICT ON ENTERPRISE BRIDGE IN WITH MYSTERY SHIP IN B PLOT: WITH POTENTIAL DIRE CONSEQUENCE OF DEATH FOR SECONDARY HERO SPOCK AND FAMILY MEMBER AND SAREK IN DURING SURGERY IN A PLOT:. THELEV, BROUGHT TO BRIDGE, WILL TIE IN C PLOT:, INTERWEAVING ALL THREE PLOTS IN ONE CLIMAX SCENE.
FADE IN: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE – WIDE SHOT
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 1:
- MYSTERY SHIP makes pass and ATTAKS Enterprise.
- SIGNS of ATTACK as Enterprise BRIDGE SHAKES.
BEAT 2:
- Checkov informs Kirk WEAPONS READY to FIRE / Kirk prepares WEAPONS FIRE SPREAD.
- Checkov confirms / Kirk orders WEAPONS FIRE.
CUT TO: EXT. EXTERPRISE (WEAPONS FIRE)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (SCIENCE STATION)
- Checkov reports: WEAPONS FIRE RESULT: MISS.
BEAT 3:
- ATTACK on Enterprise.
- SIGNS of ATTACK as Enterprise BRIDGE SHAKES
A PLOT: TRANSITION
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY (McCoy and Chappell conducting SURGERY on Sarek, Spock unconscious in background)
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SICK BAY SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure.
- LONG SHOT of Amanda reacting to the threat of ATTACKS on Sarek and Spock’s life.
BEAT 4:
- CLOSE UP of Chappell -> Warns McCoy that Sarek’s heart has stopped (IMPENDING DEATH).
- McCoy orders TECHNICAL SOLUTION.
CUT TO: CLOSE UP REACTION: Spock (now ALERT and CONCERNED), Sarek (unconscious) and Amanda near PANIC.
BEAT 5:
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SICK BAY SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure.
- SHIP POWER FAILURE.
- Confluence of DIRE SITUATONS where Sarek is NEAR DEATH due to HEARTH FAILURE while HIGH TECHNOLOGY providing critical LIFE SUPPORT fail simultaneously due to ATTACKS by MYSTERY SHIP.
- McCoy orders OBSOLETE TECHNICAL ALTERNATIVE to save Sarek’s life.
BEAT 6:
- Chappell gives McCoy OBSOLETE TECHNICAL ALTERNATIVE.
- McCoy orders Chappell to contact MAIN ENGINEERING to PRIORITIZE providing ENERGY to systems in SICK BAY / Chappell confirms, rushes to follow order.
PAN RIGHT: (following Chappell until Amanda in LONG SHOT enters FRAME – camera hangs on Amanda, letting Chappell exit FRAME, Amanda in LONG SHOT expresses WORRY from DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (SCIENCE STATION)
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 7:
- Checkov reports failed DEFENSIVE SHIELD (increasing RISK TO SHIP).
- Kirk orders use of ALTERNATIVE POWER SOURCE.
- Checkov confirms, reports continued DEFENSIVE WEAKNESS (continued RISK TO SHIP AND MISSION).
BEAT 8:
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE BRIDGE SHAKES
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY
A PLOT: TRANSITION
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SICK BAY SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure during Sarek’s HEART STOP.
- BUT: Readout indicators show HEART RESUMPTION, Sarek regains CHANCE OF LIFE. (POSITIVE INDICATION)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (WIDE SHOT)
NOTE: B PLOT and C PLOT begin to merge by IMPICATION that MYSTERY SIGNAL, MYSTERY SHIP in B PLOT is RELATED to MYSTERY MURDER in C PLOT in bringing Thelev to ENTERPRISE BRIDGE.
B PLOT: TRANSITION / C PLOT: RESUMPTION as both PLOT threads INTERTWINE.
BEAT 9:
- Andorian PRISONER Thelev enters BRIDGE in background via TURBOLIFT accompanied by two GUARDS.
- Kirk sarcastically complements Thelev’s compatriots aboard MYSTERY SHIP / Thelev admits DESTRUCTION OF ENTERPRISE goal of MYSTERY CONSPIRACY.
- Kirk challenges Thelev’s RACIAL / PLANETARY ORIGIN (not Andorian).
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY (CLOSE UP SAREK)
B PLOT: TRANSITION
BEAT 10:
- SIGNS of ATTACK as ENTERPRISE SICK BAY SHAKES, disrupting surgical procedure.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (CLOSE UP COMMUNICATIONS STATION AND UHURA)
BEAT 11:
- Uhura reports WIDE SPREAD DAMAGE across ENTERPRISE / Kirk orders RESPONSE to DAMAGE REPORT.
- Kirk informs Thelev of WEAPONS POWER SYMMETRY between ENTERPRISE and MYSTERY SHIP (EXPOSITION IN DIALOG FOR AUDIENCE).
BEAT 12:
- Checkov reports DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS FAILURE / Kirk orders ENGINEERING to CUT POWER (seemingly suicidal move).
BEAT 13:
- Kirk questions Thelev (who are you?) / Thelev refuses to answer.
- Kirk provides answer: Thelev a SPY / Thelev refuses to confirm.
BEAT 14:
- Kirk orders ENGINEERING to CUT additional POWER, setting ENTERPRISE adrift (SET UP TRAP)
BEAT 15:
- Kirk orders Checkov to leave SCIENCE STATION and take over HELM / Checkov complies.
BEAT 16:
- Thelev glances around at POWER LOSS confused and asks Kirk his purpose / Kirk refuses to answer.
- Checkov reports ENTERPRISE ADRIFT, requests to CORRECT COURSE / Kirk refuses.
- Kirk orders STANDBY WEAPONS / Checkov (confused) confirms order.
CUT TO: EXT ESTABLISHING SHOT OF ENTERPRISE ADRIFT.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (CLOSEUP OF KIRK)
BEAT 17:
- MYSTERY SHIP RETICENT TO COME IN FOR KILL.
- Kirk (EXPOSITION IN DIALOG OF SITUATION FOR AUDIENCE).
- Thelev (CONTINUES EXPOSITION IN DIALOG OF SITUATION FOR AUDIENCE) (You’re baiting him).
BEAT 18:
- MYSTERY SHIP makes run for FINAL KILL of ENTERPRISE.
- MYSTERY SHIP COME IN SLOWLY, WITHIN CAPACITY of ENTERPRISE to HIT.
- Kirk order Checkov to hold FIRE.
NOTE: MOUNTING TENSION AS FINAL CONFRONTATION NEARS.
- Checkov reports: WEAPONS LOCKED ON TARGET.
- Kirk orders WEAPONS FIRE.
SERIES OF FAST CUTs: EXT. ENTERPRISE firing; INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (CLOSEUP REACTIONS of: Checkov, Thelev, and Kirk)
- MYSTERY SHIP HIT AND SEVERELY DAMAGED
NOTE: CONCLUSION OF FINAL CONFLICT – ENEMY SHIP DAMAGED AND UNABLE TO FULFILL MISSION. (GOOD GUYS WIN!!!)
BEAT 19:
- Checkov ELATED REACTION.
- Kirk MUTED ELATION.
- Thelev DISSAPOINTED REACTION.
BEAT 20:
- NO ACTION!!!
NOTE: LONG AND SLOW SILENCE TO DISSIPATE EMOTIONAL BUILDUP AND RELEASE!!!
BEAT 21:
- Kirk orders ENTERPRISE to STAND DOWN FROM RED ALERT.
- MAIN POWER resumes on ENTERPRISE BRIDGE.
BEAT 22:
- Kirk orders HAIL at MYSTERY SHIP for SURRENDER.
- MYSTERY SHIP SELF-DESTRUCTS.
BEAT 23:
- Thelev informs Kirk that SURRENDER was NOT AN OPTION for MYSTERY SHIP.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY (CLOSEUP – HEALTH MONITORS SHOW IMPROVEMENT)
A PLOT: RESUMES
BEAT 24:
- McCoy continues surgery.
- Sarek shows signs of RECOVERY.
- Spock shows signs of RECOVERY.
- Amanda shows signs of RELIEF.
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE BRIDGE (CLOSEUP OF KIRK)
B PLOT: / C PLOT: RESUMES
BEAT 25:
- Thelev despondent at FAILURE.
- Kirk orders Uhuru to inform SUPERIORS of NEW STATUS about PRISONER.
BEAT 26:
- Thelev informs Kirk of his SUICIDE MISSION by POISON / Kirk orders GUARDS to take PRISONER to SICK BAY.
- Thelev immediately DIES.
- Kirk makes IRONIC STATEMENT about DEATH OF FOEs.
BEAT 27:
- Kirk RELINQUISHES COMMAND after fulfilling DUTY TO SHIP by returning ENTERPRISE to SAFETY.
- Kirk exits BRIDGE.
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE – MATTERS ARE NEARING THE WORST AS THIS SCENE OPENS, CROSSING THE END OF ACT 3: WITH THE BEGINNING OF ACT 4: THIS LONG SCENE DEPICTS THE FINAL CONFRONTATION BETWEEN ENEMY FORCES AND KIRK.
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE – CENTRAL THREAT ACROSS B PLOT: AND C PLOT: NOW RESOLVED, THE STORY CAN FOCUS ON A PLOT: RESOLUTION OF FAMILY RIFT BETWEEN SPOCK AND SAREK.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 18: MYSTERY SHIP DISABLED AND NO LONGER A THREAT TO ENTERPRISE.
---
SCENE 2: ( 46m26s– 5m37s transpired since beginning of ACT 4:, 7m36s since beginning of SCENE 7: ACT 3:)
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY
A PLOT: RESUMES
BEAT 1:
- McCoy enters room smiling.
- Kirk enters room from different door.
- McCoy makes IRONIC STATEMENT about RISK TO SHIP.
BEAT 2:
- Kirk requests STATUS UPDATE on Spock and Sarek CONDITION / McCoy deflects question, complains about effects of VIOLENT CONFRONTATION.
- Kirk expresses exasperation / Amanda enters room smiling, invites Kirk to join Sarek and Spock.
- Kirk follows Amanda, McCoy follows Kirk.
BEAT 3:
CUT TO: INT. ENTERPRISE SICK BAY – RECOVERY ROOM
- Spock, Sarek lie in bed awake and in apparent health, Chappell attending.
- McCoy makes WISECRACK about VULCAN STAMINA / Kirk responds with IRONIC WISECRACK about physicians in kind.
BEAT 4:
- Spock attempts to inform Kirk of CRUCIAL FACT / Kirk reports CRUCIAL FACT now irrelevant.
- Kirk orders McCoy to perform autopsy on Thelev / Spock conjectures to McCoy Thelev’s planetary origin (Orian)
NOTE: RESOLVING ORIGIN OF MYSTERY SIGNAL AND MYSTERY SHIP.
- McCoy questions Spock / Spock provides EXPOSITION IN DIALOG FOR AUDIENCE to explain B PLOT: THREAD RESOLUTION.
- Kirk questions Spock on FOE MOTIVATION / Sarek responds, to provoke SUSPICION and WAR.
- Kirk explains: FOE FALSE NEUTRALITY WOULD ENSURE CONTINUED SUPPLY OF PROFIT FROM SALE OF PRECIOUS RESOURCE TO WARRING PARTIES. (ALL EXPOSITION IN DIALOG)
BEAT 5:
- Spock makes note of TECHNICAL MATTER about FOE MYSTERY SHIP referred to in ACT: 3 SCENE 7: BEAT 4: when he attempted to get up prior to surgery but had been sedated by Nurse Chappell at McCoy’s order.
- Continuing, Spock provides more EXPOSITION IN DIALOG, explaining PURPOSE of the FOE MYSTERY SHIP.
- Spock questions SELF PERCEPTION and performs SELF CRITICISM (why had he not thought of this earlier?)
BEAT 6:
- Kirk CONSOLES Spock’s failure, noting other pressing FAMILY MATTERS at hand.
- Amanda gives KNOWING EXPRESSION.
- Spock deflects Kirk’s statement, maintaining FRONT OF LOGIC to negate the OBVIOUS.
- Kirk offers SNIDE THANK YOU at Spock’s SELF DELUSION.
BEAT 7:
- Amanda presses Sarek to thank Spock for saving his life, thus forcing RESOLUTION OF FAMIKLY RIFT / Sarek professes inability to understand Amanda’s ploy.
- Spock gives KNOWING LOOK at Sarek.
- Sarek suggests Spock’s LOGIC was the ONLY DRIVING MOTIVATION. Refuses to offer GRATITUDE for Spock’s REASONABLE CONDUCT.
NOTE: STATEMENT BY SAREK BOTH NEGATES EMOTIONAL CONFLICT WHILE SUPPORTING SPOCK IN MATTER OF VULCAN PRIDE. IT SERVES DUAL PURPOSE OF RESOLVING FAMILY RIFT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY REFUSING TO RECOGNIZE EXISTENCE OF RIFT. IT’S A PARADOX INTENDED TO SUPRESS EMOTIONAL RELIEF AND CRUCIAL TO UNDERSTANDING DEPICTION OF VULCAN CHARACTER TRAITS.
- Amanda breaks down in fit of anger at absurdity of Sarek’s statement and VULCAN LOGIC.
- Spock interrupts, speaking to Sarek of Amanda in THIRD PERSON, makes CYNICAL ANALYSIS of Amanda’s EMOTIONAL ERUPTION / Sarek confirms IRRATIONAL EMOTION as Amanda’s normal behavior.
- Spock questions Sarek on his choice of wife (highly insulting) / Sarek responds with LOGICAL ANALYSIS.
- Spock QUIZZICAL REACTION SHOT.
COMIC RELIEF. REACTION SHOTS OF AMANDA, KIRK AND MCCOY SHOW ACCEPTANCE AND EXASPERATION BY AMANDA, AND SMILES FOR KIRK AND MCCOY.
NOTE:
a core aspect of the comic element is
that Spock and Sarek appear to be insulting Sarek's wife and Spock's mother
Amanda for her emotional outburst. It seems a typical 'wife joke'.
But, given the context of the resolution of a longstanding father-son family breach, the joke inverts a straight man / wacky nut dynamic, as the audience understands that Amanda's reaction is reasonable given the circumstances while Spock's and Sarek's represent repressed wackiness. By insulting Amanda's supposed irrationality, it is Spock and Sarek who behave irrationally by projecting a false sense of superiority without self-insight.
Thus, the butt of the joke falls on them in a curious reversal of the stereotypical wife joke.
But, given the context of the resolution of a longstanding father-son family breach, the joke inverts a straight man / wacky nut dynamic, as the audience understands that Amanda's reaction is reasonable given the circumstances while Spock's and Sarek's represent repressed wackiness. By insulting Amanda's supposed irrationality, it is Spock and Sarek who behave irrationally by projecting a false sense of superiority without self-insight.
Thus, the butt of the joke falls on them in a curious reversal of the stereotypical wife joke.
- Amanda accepts this ABSURDITY OF SITUATION and makes CONSOLING GESTURE to Sarek, mending a potential WIFE / HUSBAND FAMILIAL BREACH.
Curious Inversion of a Stereotypical 'Wife Joke'
BEAT 8:
- Kirk collapses from NEAT FATAL INJURY sustained by ATTACK in end of ACT 2: SCENE 6:.
- McCoy and Chappell offers assistance, forces Kirk to bed for NEEDED REST.
- Spock attempts to RISE FOR DUTY / McCoy forces Spock to bed for NEEDED REST.
NOTE: MIRRORING DOCTOR’S ORDERS OF SPOCK WITH KIRK.
BEAT 9:
- Kirk challenges McCoy’s PRESUMPTIVENESS at TAKING COMMAND of both Kirk and Spock for MEDICAL REASONS.
- Spock makes SNIDE REMARK about McCoy’s ENJOYMENT OF ‘TABLES TURNED’ circumstance where McCoy has USURPED TEMPORARY AUTHORITY.
BEAT 10:
- McCoy ORDERS both Spock and Kirk to SHUT UP and IMMEDIATELY DEFER AUTHORITY, challenging SUPERIOR OFFICERS and ASSERTING POWER.
- Kirk defers with a dejected expression of FUTILITY.
BEAT 11:
- McCoy enjoys MOMENTARY REVERSAL OF FORTUNE AND POWER, gloating over his TEMPORARY WIN.
NOTE: MCCOY’S ENJOYMENT OF ‘GETTING LAST WORD’ AND FINAL SHOT STEAL MIRRORS BEGINNING. MCCOY OPENED THE STORY IN PROLOGUE TEASER: COMPLAINING ABOUT FORMALITIES OF REGALIA, HE ENDS THE STORY AFTER HAVING TEMPORARILY OVERTURNED AUTHORITY STRUCTURE OF THE SHIP WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY HAVING SUCCESSFULLY SHORN FORMAL REGALIA.
CUT TO: EXT. CLOSING SHOT OF ENTERPRISE – AS IT CONTINUES TRAVEL IN SPACE.
END CREDITS:
OPENING VALUE: NEGATIVE (CONCERN FOR LIFE OF SPOCK AND SAREK)
CLOSING VALUE: POSITIVE (SPOCK AND SAREK HEALTHY, AND FAMILIAL RIFT RESOLVED.
TURNING POINT: BEAT 7: AMANDA PRESSES SAREK ON RESOLVING FATHER-SON RIFT BETWEEN SAREK AND SPOCK, WHICH LEADS TO A CONVULUTED RESOLUTION IN SUBTEXT WHILE IN SURFACE DIALOG DEMEANING AMANDA’S EMOTIONAL CONCERN AS ‘ILLOGICAL’.
NOTE: REGARDING LACK OF RESOLUTION OF CRUCIAL C PLOT: MATTERS:
- It’s curious that the question of who murdered Gav has been dropped. Had Sarek been ruled out? No, though seriously ill, he was still the only individual on board with the specific skill set to murder Gav in the exact way he had died. Had it been the ORIAN SPY Thelev? This is what’s implied, but no EVIDENCE is presented IN SCENE or by EXPOSITORY DIALOG to prove this point. THIS PORTION OF C PLOT: IS DROPPED INTO A MASSIVE PLOT HOLE.
- What happened with the Ambassadorial delegates? Did the ENTERPRISE arrive safely at Babel? Was Sarek able to perform his ambassadorial duties and cast his vote? NONE OF THESE ISSUES ARE EXPLICIATELY RESOLVED.
- Regarding point 1 on Gav’s death, this is an overt plot hole. Yet one could surmise that because it happens at the end of ACT 1:, by the time of ACT 4: RESOLUTION, most AUDIENCE VIEWERS would have forgotten about its relevance. Given TIME CONSTRAINTS, production staff (writers, director, producers) might have intentionally left the plot hole open without concern.
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Draft V. 1.0
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